Well, as it tuns out, it's entirely possible that they just might have fed a piece of my tongue to one of those crazy cats at the animal clinic. Let me explain...Some of you may know that I went in for surgery this morning to remove a growth that had appeared on the underside of my tongue. Mom & Dad (JoeAndRose to you) noticed a little bleeding coming from the right side of my mouth a couple of weeks ago, and at first thought it might be a problem tooth, or maybe some gum disease. When I finally let them take a really good look for the cause (I'm not keen on people poking around inside my mouth), they found the growth. I'll spare you the gory details, but it didn't look good, what with the blood and the puss and the... oops, sorry, no gory details.
So back to Dr. Quin at the Cedar Lane Animal Clinic we went. Avid Oh, Roxanne! readers will remember that I'd just been to the vet and had gotten a clean bill of health. Since it was a last minute appointment, we couldn't get Dr. Quin, instead getting his boss, the founder of the clinic, Dr. Bacon. (If you have any suggestions for a funny line about a vet named Bacon, feel free to pass it on.) He took a quick look (and feel) and didn't like what he saw (or felt). While Dr. Quin has an easygoing, "everything's gonna be O.K., pass the hookah", child of the '60's way about him, Dr. Bacon has a more "There's no point in me painting a rosy picture about things" way about him. While I know the information and prognosis being passed along would be the same either way, I think I definitely prefer "groovy" to "doom and gloomy".
The humans in the room decided to schedule the surgery to remove the mass and have it biopsied. The procedure would involve removing a portion of my tongue, attempting to get all of the mass and salvaging as much of the tongue as possible. Right before the surgery, Dad asked Dr. Bacon if there would be a discount if he could do everyone a favor and remove Mom's tongue, too. Dad, Dr. Bacon and I were all having a good laugh until we realized that Mom wasn't laughing so much. Not at all, really. She was shooting daggers Dad's way, and quite frankly, I was pretty glad at that moment to succumb to the heavy dose of Special K they'd shot into me. Ravers use this stuff to stay up all night? Really? Me, I was out like a freakin' light.
Dr. Bacon performed the surgery and so far,I still have most of my tongue. Only a small portion was removed, really. I hope he got it all...
I'm home now, resting up, looking forward to my Dad's birthday extravaganza. He's the only one who calls it that. Mom just calls him an idiot. I think I'll take my pain medication now...
